Attachment issues, also called attachment wounds, are challenges that a person has with forming secure attachments in relationships, sometimes referred to as your attachment style. Your attachment style is your mind’s template for how safe you are in a relationship.

Whatever attachment style you have—secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, or disorganized avoidant—was formed early in your life. Your attachment style is not a “conscious choice”; it’s based on the degree of attunement, loving connection, security, and safety you experienced with your parents or caregivers. And because your attachment style was formed based on your experience with intimate caregiving relationships, your attachment style in adulthood will be most obvious within intimate relationships.

Your attachment wounds are exposed in intimate relationships where vulnerability, trust, and safety are most vital. That’s why someone you really care about can deeply trigger your wounds; someone you know peripherally simply doesn’t get close enough to know or activate your wounds.